I suppose I was pretty unclear about things.
I, too, don't like the idea of any DM or GM being in the position of babysitting a party. The problem has been that in a few situations, I've had only one or two players. For instance, a current game I'm running for a wheelchair-bound kid who likes being able to use his imagination in an active story. Unfortunately, there's no one else around to participate. So, I typically run one or two npc's along with him. He appreciates having the company. I do the voices, mannerisms, etc., but I don't want him to feel as though I have the sort of "edge" that's going to propel him through the story according to my own decisions. So where a decision point becomes necessary, I roll percentile dice or simply make a kind of morale check for the characters accompanying him. He gets the satisfaction of knowing that he's in control of the story. And it fills out the story a bit more.
As for the puns, you guys missed the point; I didn't make just ANY puns (in fact, I can't stand the form). I deliberately made use of names that have ridiculously become verboten, thanks to copyright concerns. No more puns. I promise.
